Sailor Allies: A Parody of Sailor Moon
by Maru-sha
Summary: Long ago, the Moon was home to two great beings, known as Rome and Germania. When Germania betrayed him, Rome and his grandsons fought him off, but it was too late. Sacrificing himself, Rome sends all of the fallen countries to a new future on Earth.
1. When the Evil Stuff happened

Author's note: Hey all, Maru-sha here! I'm back with another crazy fan-fiction! Hetalia has been a interest of mine, so I decided to write this since I just LOVE cracky ideas! Laugh and Enjoy!

* * *

Many centuries ago, the moon we know of today was ruled by the two powerful beings known as Rome and Germania. Everything was peaceful until Germania began to want more power to himself. One fateful night, during one of the moon's well known parties, Germania led a full on attack on Rome and their developing countries of the Earth that always came to the said parties. His army consisted of other countries that were promised great power after assisting him.

Without any warning of the attack, Rome was unable to save all of the countries. When all was said and done, there were only his two grandsons left. "W-Why did Germania do this to everyone, grandpa?" the battered Chibitalia sniffled, lying beside his weakened and beloved grandfather.

"That bastard is a traitor! He caught us off guard and defeated us!" Chibi Romano growled, also defeated next to Rome. Heaving a heavy sigh and taking a long look into the stars of space; Rome took hold of his grandsons and held them close.

"What's all this talk about being defeated? We have one more plan!" he told them.

"Y-You mean...?" Chibitalia asked, rubbing a few tears out of his eyes.

"Yes. Cosmic Moon Unification Power." Rome responded.

"Are you sure?" Chibi Romano asked warily, reaching under his gown and taking out a silver, crystalized tomato.

"Grandpa Rome always knows what is best!" Chibitalia squeaked taking a wand of some kind out from his gown. The form of it resembled a crescent moon shape, but the crescent moon part was made up of many, many stings of gold encased pasta noodles. As the sounds of the approaching army grew nearer, Rome placed the Silver Imperium Tomato into the Crescent Moon Pasta Wand.

Clinging onto their grandfather, Chibitalia and Chibi Romano, they began granting Rome with the needed extra power. Rome raised the wand and proclaimed loudly, "Cosmic Moon Unification Power!".

A blinding white flash came from the crystal tomato, causing Germania and his army to halt. Some retreated and others still tried to keep going. Germania ran towards the light, but just as he made out Rome and his kin, it was far too late. The light became a powerful force of power that forced Germania back before disintegrating him entirely. There was no escape for any of his army either and many cries of distress were cried before they succumbed to the power and were blasted away, not a trace of them left.

Needless to say, the Moon Kingdom was forever destroyed.

Now completely void of strength, Rome was contemplating on what to do in his final hour. "You beat them, Grandpa Rome! I'm so glad!" Chibitalia said, in his own heap of exhaustion.

"**_We _**beat them, Italia. I'm so proud of the both of you." The elder said between panting breaths.

"But what about the others? All the other innocent countries...they're all...all..." Chibi Romano sniffled, unable to say the word. But it was true. Many innocent countries had been cut down, never having their chance to fully live the live Rome had wanted for them. With a heavy heart, Rome knew what he had to do, and fast before he himself had absolutely no more strength to live. Removing the Imperium Silver Tomato from the crescent wand, he took one last look at it before it began to emit a faint, but wondrous glow.

"I'm going to bring them all back." He told his little ones.

"R-Right now? Here? But everything is all gone." Chibi Romano reminded him. Rome smiled and shook his head slowly.

"I'm going to revive them all and send them to a new future on Earth."

"That sounds like a good thing, but why do you sound so sad?" Chibitalia whined. Rome knew just what would happen if he did this, he'd lose his own life. But he'd rather die knowing he was giving what he started a chance than just dying in vain. If he did that, then Germania had won by default.

"Because none of them will remember their previous lives nor the peace we all had with one another. This whole Silver Millennium will be lost along with all their memories." He explained. In one final flash of light, the Imperium Silver Tomato granted Rome's final wish. The many souls of the countries who died in the horrible attack began to be transported gently to Earth. The two chibis watched with wide eyes. They were filled with hope that all would be well in the future. Maybe Germania would turn out to be a better person in another life, along with the countries that sided with him.

"R-Remember..." Rome struggled to say, facing his two grandsons. "If a-anything goes wrong in the future...it's your job to reawaken our warriors."

Rome gave them both a farewell pat on the head before finally succumbing to his drained stamina and life. "Grandpa Rome!" both Chibi Romano and Chibitalia cried before they themselves were safely locked into their own protective encasings in a deep sleep. They and all the other countries were whisked away to their new future on Earth.

* * *

To be continued, maybe!


	2. A Moon Hero is Born, part 1

The sound of a ringing alarm clock was blaring on and on. Under a mass of red and white striped blankets rose a hand that felt around on the bedside table to turn off, or smash, the alarm clock. Whichever came first, really. Finally, the hand found the snooze button.

A loud yawn came from the blonde haired figure under the sheets before they flopped their head back down on a blue pillow covered in white stars. Around his room were stickers of UFOs and tacked to the wall above his bed was an American flag. Once again, Alfred Jones was oversleeping. He hadn't even looked at the time as he continued to snooze.

After hitting the snooze button three more times, he felt around the night-table for his glasses and put them on. Heaving a long yawn accompanied by a stretch, he scratched his messy hair and looked at the clock.

7:52 am...

"...OH NO!" he shouted, leaping out of bed and his pajamas. He frantically dressed himself halfway before rushing into the bathroom to brush his teeth and try to fix his hair. After doing a half-assed job, he finished putting on his shirt and blazer with his school's emblem on it. Walking into the kitchen, he came across a small sandwich on the counter with a note.

_Eat this up. See you at school!_

- Matthew

Great, now he had to run to school knowing that his own brother had beaten him there...again! Shoving the sandwich halfway into his mouth, America grabbed his school bag and ran out of the house, slamming the door shut. "I am sooo gonna be late! Damn Canada, not even bothering to wake me! I'll give me an earful at school!" he muffled to himself as he ate the rather tasty sandwich that was filled with Canadian bacon, a fried egg, and some lettuce. As the frantic school boy turned a corner, he came across a cluster of grade school kids that appeared to be kicking something.

"Waaaah! H-Help'a me!" a pathetic voice cried. America heard it loud and clear and bolted over to the gathering.

"HEY! You all leave that kid alone!" his loud voice boomed. The kids scattered quickly, leaving behind the mangled little victim. "Jeez, kids these days..." America sighed, kneeling down to pick up whatever he just saved. The small child let out a sound-barrier shattering cry that left hardly any effect on America.

"Aww, poor thing! Here ya' go!" he said with a smile, shoving a small sucker-candy into its mouth. For the first time in a long while, the child opened up its large hazel eyes and made a small "Veee~!" sound and smiled at its protector. America poked at the small curl of hair protruding from the rest of his hair and the child yelped, leaped out of his arms, and backed far away from him.

"you're alright. Now you go on home or to school! ...School? OH SHIT! Now I'm SUPER late!" he gasped, getting up and taking off down the street.

The small chibi stood in shock, still sucking on the hard candy he was given. "The way he felt my hair...just like how it was on the moon! Could he be the one?"

By the time America had gotten into school, the second bell had already rang five minutes earlier. "Damn it..." he murmured, slowly and quietly entering first class.

"Nice of you to join us, Mister America!" Switzerland greeted him in a none-to-friendly tone. America quickly sat in his seat, avoiding the teacher's glance. But that meant he had to keep his eyes either to the left or the right. To his right was just a wall, but to his left was a rather large and creepy looking person who seemed to exude a cold chill from his body.

"Everyone please open your science books to page number-blah blah blaah..." was all America heard before eventually dosing off behind his open textbook.

About 20 minutes later, Switzerland looked away from the chalkboard and spoke about another topic. "I have the tests from last week graded. I'm very proud to say about everyone in the class passed."

A flood of sighs of relief came from other students. America smiled slyly. He hadn't studied, but had also sat next to Russia that day, and the country seemed to know much about science. Then Switzerland spoke again. "However," he began. "This is to be expected; I set high standards. I also used a new testing system so each person got a slightly altered test to prevent any cheating whatsoever."

America's smile quickly faded and he slammed his head onto his desk. "Something wrong, America?" Switzerland asked, already having an idea of the situation.

"No! I'm great!" he replied, still head-desk'ed.

"Waaaaahhh! Why do bad things happen to good people?" America wailed in the school courtyard afterschool.

"Calm down, America. It's just one little test. It's not like it's the end of the world." Lithuania told him, trying to calm his best friend down. Sniffling, America looked up at him and explained.

"You don't get it Lith. I already suck in that class! If I fail it, I'll be a class behind Canada and I just wouldn't be able to live that down!"

"Like, hey America! I heard about your totally terrible test score. Liet helps me study all the time. He can, like, tutor the both of us!" Poland commented, walking up next to the two. The feminine looking man even put an arm around Lithuania's shoulder. It was quickly shrugged off, though.

"That's actually not a bad idea, Poland. America, we could start doing that." Lithuania offered. America was still sulking and probably didn't even hear the idea.

"I didn't even study..." he sighed.

"Like, you didn't study? Oh well, it's not like you have anyone to impress!"

"He's just afraid of being held back and Canada passing him up."

"Hey America, you need to, like, get your mind off all this. Like, I heard there are some videogames on sale at the mall!" commented Poland as he flipped his hair back nonchalantly.

"Hmm? You think so?" the still depressed country asked.

"I, like, _**know **_so!"

America's eyes lit up and he asked the fate sealing question, "Can we get ice cream?"

"Of course we can! Liet is treating us!" Poland answered. "ALRIGHT! What are we standing around for? LET'S GO!" America boomed, dashing off and down the street, Poland in tow.

"How do I keep getting myself dragged into these things?" Lithuania wondered, following the two, looking somberly into his wallet.

Far off in the dark reaches of an unknown rip in time, a dark plot was finally about to make the scene. On the throne made of some kind of crystal sat a very furious ruler named Germania. "It's about time we get introduced in this story!" he thundered. "But there is no time to lament on this matter. It is time we got our revenge for being destroyed by Rome nearly a millennium ago!"

"Yeeeessssss..." droned a horde of his past subjects. Their loyalty had held up and had withstood the passing centuries. However, their souls had been long reincarnated into the countries of modern day. They were all just embodiments of who they were before that fateful day on the moon that forever destroyed the peaceful era known as the Silver Millennium.

"But in order to make sure we do not fail, we're going to require energy; a great deal of it. We shall get it from that pathetic planet Earth. So who will step forward and do this deed?" Germania asked.

Before him then appeared a tall figure. His eyes were just as blue as Germania's and he also shared nearly the exact hair color as him. "Let me do it. I 'von't let you down!" he proclaimed.

"Ah, Germany. You were always one to never fail me. Alight, you handle this task. Drain those foolish earthlings of their energy in the best way you can think of."

"I have already dispatched one our loyalties to possess a useful person on Earth to gather energy, your majesty." Germany responded, clearly and precisely.

"Umm...just 'sir' is fine..."

To Be Continued, maybe~!


	3. A Moon Hero is Born, part 2

"Oh ice creaaaaam~! I love you so much!" America thought as he took several long, slow, licks at the ice cream he had just gotten.

"Like, want to get a room with it?" Poland asked sarcastically. He wasn't one to talk, he was licking his in almost the same manner. Poor Lithuania ate his like a decent member of society, blushing at how his friends were eating.

"Today only, get all of the latest videogames at over sixty percent off!" a voice called into a megaphone. It was obviously coming from the videogame and multimedia store.

"Hmm? Isn't that, like, South Korea? Normally he isn't into having sales! ...America?" Poland waved a hand in front of America's face, but it was already too late.

His brain was processing the words "videogames" and "sixty percent off", shutting off his other functions. "Hello? America?" Lithuania said, poking him in the ribs to try to get him to move. Finally, he snapped back to reality and quickly reached into his pockets, frantically trying to find his wallet.

"_Now remember, America. This money is to be used to get groceries later this week!_" Canada's words rang through America's head as he stared looked at the two hundred dollars in his wallet. America was torn between his two favorite things. Food and Videogames.

"Today only, special imported fighting games are ninety percent off!" Korea announced. That did it! America practically flew into the store.

* * *

As games were sold left and right, Korea smirked evilly every now and then, hiding it behind his long-sleeves. "Yes. That's it. Give all of your mindless energy to the Nega-verse. These videogames will drain you all of your energy!" he thought.

"You have done 'vell, Korea. So much of this human greed makes for 'vonderfull energy. Germania 'vill be most pleased. Once enough energy is gathered, we can revive our army to its once great form and take over this planet! Keep doing 'vhatever you can to gather more!" Germany commanded, standing by in the Nega-verse.

"With pleasure, da-ze~" Korea thought, trapped in inner-mind monologue.

* * *

"GIMME!" America shouted from in front of the store counter Korea was behind, practically foaming at the mouth. He snapped back into reality as faced America, all friendly smiles again.

"Ah, America! One of my best customers!" Korea greeted, the tiny face within his hair squiggle wearing the same friendly smile. He then placed a stack of about seven videogame before America. They were mostly fighting or point-and-shoot games, all of which the frantic country loved.

"Oh wow! I don't think I can get all of those at once..." America said, looking over the titles.

"Of course you can! For you, just ten dollars, da-ze!" Korea proclaimed.

"SEVEN GAMES FOR TEN DOLLARS?" America gasped, nearly having a heart-attack. The outburst was heard all over the store and he was immediately shoved out of the way by other videogame fans.

"Like, it's a stampede!" Poland shouted, caught in the flood of people.

"Someone just grabbed my behind!" Lithuania squeaked, not hearing the faint "_kolkolkol_" of a certain country caught in the mass amount of people.

About ten minutes later, America emerged from the crowd of people, the stack of videogames he was offered now down to just one. He simply dropped some money on the counter and crawled under the horde of shoppers. Clinging onto his leg was Lithuania who was panting and shivering all over. "Never...again..." the brunette panted, getting to his feet.

"I don't get it. Korea never does such big sales!" America pointed out. "Maybe he stole them all from somewhere and is trying to get rid of them..."

"Hey! Like, look guys! I'm totally crowd surfing~!" Poland called to them, being handled around the store by all the people unconsciously.

America let out a soft laugh, then got quiet. "This place is going whacko you guys..." he said, turning to leave.

"Hmm? Where are you going?" Lithuania asked.

"I'm gonna go take a nap before telling Canada about my grades."

"Oh alright, see you tomorrow America." His quiet friend said.

"Bye America!" Poland shouted, waving after the suddenly downcast country.

* * *

"Aw man, Canada won't be very happy with me flunking another test. HOW CAN I SHOW HIM THIS THING!" He wailed, balling up the exam and tossing it over his shoulder. There, it was out of sight and thus, out of mind!

"Hey, you shouldn't 'ritter..." said a Asian voice. America looked behind him, only to see a Japanese man looking at his test. "This is terrib're!" he gasped.

"EEEEK!" America squeaked out of embarrassment.

"Are you menta'rry handicapped? Or just incredib'ry 'razy?" the man asked seriously.

"W-Wha? How DARE you! Give me that!" Furious, America snatched his test from him and stormed off.

Japan ran his hand through his short black hair and watched the angry American huff down the street. "There is something about that person..." he thought.

* * *

"Grrr! I can't believe this!" America growled to himself as he walked the rest of the way home. He was so wrapped up in what went wrong that he failed to hear Canada call out to him. It wasn't that big of a stretch since his brother had one of the quietest voices ever.

"H-Hey America. Couldn't you h-here me? M-Maple..."

"Hmm? Oh, hi Canada..." the elder half-heartedly greeted.

"What's wrong? Are you sick? ...Was it the sandwich I made you?"

"No. I'm not sick! It's this!" America whined, slapping his graded test paper in Canada's face.

"E-EH? Only...ten percent? You told me you were studying the weekend before the test!" Canada reasoned, not believing his eyes.

"I WAS studying!" America argued, clearly remembering that he had played videogames that entire weekend. While the two continued to walk home while steadily arguing, they failed to notice they were being watched. From around a corner, the small child America had saved was observing the two.

"I can't believe it. He's dumber than me and he's _the one_?" he huffed.

* * *

"WHAT? Y-You spent our grocery money on videogames?" Canada scolded, loudly for a change.

"Relax! I only spent ten dollars and only managed to get one before my was trampled by the other people. Lighten up!" America said, waving his hand passively in front of his face. Canada sighed, his brother didn't see the point he was trying to make. He knew well that if he had the option, his brother would've spent his entire stimulus package on piety things. He was glad they lived together, but times like this made Canada's maple-blood boil.

"We're having chicken stir-fry for dinner..." Canada announced in a whisper.

"Aw man, I hate chicken stir-fry!" America whined with a sour face.

"Good, next time you spend any money you aren't supposed to, or fail a test, I'll make liver and onions!" the usually shy and timid sibling threatened, already tying an apron on himself. Poor America nearly threw up at the thought!

After dinner...

America had managed to stomach the healthy food Canada had cooked and was now prepared to rot his brain with video games until midnight, like he normally did on weekdays. "Listen America...I'm sorry for the food." Canada said softly. America was taken back, but poked Canada's hair curl softly.

"It wasn't nasty or anything. I just don't like stir-fry!" he said. "I know, but it's good for you! And stop poking my hair...m-maple..."

"They day they make hamburgers that are good for you, I'll never eat stir-fry again!" America laughed, now tugging Canada's curl, making him tear up adorably.

"Stoooop! Or I won't play videogames with you and let you beat me!" he shouted.

"Oh right! I wanna try out the one I got today! Mind setting it up while I use the bathroom?"

"O-Okay..." Canada answered. While America went to relieve his bladder, Canada began to set up the videogame in the living room. He even went so far as to start playing it. However, that was not a good idea. As he played the point-and-shoot game, he began to feel...drowsy. After a minute, he could no longer keep his eyes open and he fell backwards just as America came back into the living area.

"MATTHEW!" America shouted, catching him in his arms. They rarely used their true names, but he was concerned. Canada was snoring softly in America's arms. "Oh thank God...he's just asleep. Is the game really that boring?" he wondered, turning his head to face the screen. Just as he caught a glimpse of the screen, the huge sensation of being tired nearly overtook him. But the TV screen went black.

"Don't play it!" shouted a tiny voice. Next to the outlet in the wall stood the little kid America saved that morning.

"Hey, it's you! How'd you get into the house?" America shouted, dropping Canada and pointing at the chibi. The child in white, puffy clothes cleared his throat and introduced himself.

"My name is Italy. And I have been looking for you for a long time!"

America cocked his head to one side, confused by what the hell was going on. "You are the chosen one~! And I have been sent here to guide you on the path of your destiny. I've been watching you all day and I'm sure that you are...the Sailor Scout of the Moon~!" Italy said before letting out an excited giggle.

"...A scout...of the...ah~! I get it, you're selling Girl Scout cookies! Sure, I'll take some!" America said, smiling a big grin.

"I'm not kidding around! If you haven't noticed, your brother is in trouble!"

"Trouble? He's just sleeping!"

Italy sighed. "You don't believe me? Alright then, I'll prove it!" he squeaked, reaching under his shirt and into his bloomers, taking out a golden brooch.

"Why were you keeping that there? And what the heck is it?" America asked, looking at the pendant with the symbol of a crescent moon on it.

"It's a special brooch just for you~!" Italy said with a cute little smile.

"For me? I'm not into fancy things, but it's really cool! It'll make my school uniform really stand out!" America rambled, grabbing hold of it and placing it on the vest of his school uniform that he still hadn't changed out of.

"That's not just a piece of jewelry! Listen! You are Sailor Moon, sworn to protect the princess of the Moon! Powerful and evil forces are here on Earth. And that brooch can help you find them. You, America, are Sailor Moon and you must fight any evil when it comes after you! You can't run away crying!" Italy explained to America, who was just admiring how nice the brooch looked.

"You mean like a...A REAL SUPER HERO?" America gasped, stars in his eyes.

"This is not a joke, America! This is destiny!"

"Destiny? Me?"

"Yes. Just repeat after me," Italy began, making sure America heard him. "Moon. Prism. Power."

America gave a small salute, knowing it would not work, but did not want to disappoint the child. "Okay then! Moon Prism Power!"

_What happened next made America feel like that time he had eaten those unknown mushrooms in the backyard. He was suddenly void of every article of clothing, yet censored by some kind of veil of transformation magic. The brooch branched out fabric around him that flashed into a leotard fit around his body. Another long ribbon of fabric crossed over his arms and formed into white gloves that fit snuggly over his forearms. Yet another ribbon wrapped around his legs and turned into red, knee-high leather boots. A blue fabric magically threaded around and became the sailor skirt with a red butt-bow, and the sailor uniform collar of the outfit. _

_Lastly, a red rime stone appeared right before his hairline and became a gold tiara with the red gem in the center. And somehow, he had enough hair to support two red hairpieces that made him look like he was rockin' the meatball hair look. All that was left for there to do was strike a pose...which he did! He leaned over slightly, placing one hand on a knee and used the other hand to make the "American" gesture of "Fuck you" while winking cheekily. _

"...HUH? W-What the hell?" America cried, looking himself over in a panic. "What happened? This whole day is getting weirder and weirder! I'm never going to eat chicken stir-fry again! I wanted to PLAY in a virtual reality, **NOT LIVE IT**!" he wailed. Italy just looked at him and sweat-dropped. If America was going to truly follow his destiny, he really needed to shave his legs...

"You are now Sailor Moon! I must go out and get to source of what took your brother's energy!" Italy squeaked, pointing to the still passed out Canada on the floor. America was freaking out and was trying to pull the tight uniform out of his ass. "SAILOR MOON!" Italy yelled.

"HEY! I didn't sign up for this! I can't do anything right anyways!" America shouted before sighing softy.

"But now you are Sailor Moon. You will always know what to do when you look into your heart. Just believe in yourself~!" the chibi told him, adding in his cute little derp face (= 7 =). America smiled and stood with his hands on his hips and his chest huffed out proudly.

"Okay! I'll do it! I'M THE HERO~!"

* * *

To Be Continued, maybe~!


	4. A Moon Hero is Born, Part 3

_America: In our last episode, my world was turned upside down after I rescued a little Italian boy from being beaten up. Little did I know that I was the one he was looking for. Apparently, I'm some kinda long-lost girl scout of the moon or something! Then the little twerp gave me a transformation pendant that made me into a superhero! My life's dream has come true at the cost of my male-dignity. Now I have to fight crime as a dress-wearing, high-heeled, Sailor Scout! ...Is the world safe yet?! I'm hungry!_

Sailor Allies – Chapter 4 **"A Moon Hero is born, part 3"**

Running down the street was usually a task in itself, but America found it even more difficult in the high-heeled boots the transformation had provided him with! The tiny guardian who bestowed the power to him ran ahead of him towards the game shop. America was just glad there was no one out at this time of night to see him like this!

"We're almost there! I can feel the negative energy getting stronger!" Italy whined, starting to get cold feet. He stopped all together and began to run the opposite way.

"Oh no you don't! You are not backing out on me after making me transform into this 'Hooker-Wear'!" America shouted, picking Italy up and running the rest of the way.

"The amount of energy 've're gathering is 'vunderbar, South Korea!" Germany said, watching Korea gather more and more energy by the second into his hands. Just then, what appeared to be a girl walked into the shop.

"Pardon me, aru. But I want to exchange this game. I got it as a present and I'm not into videogames."

Using some kind of gravity power, Germany pushed the girlish being against a wall hard enough to leave an indentation. The poor being groaned with agony before blacking out. "Draw their energy, too." Germany instructed to Korea before vanishing back into the Negaverse. He nodded and his long sleeves extended, wrapping around the intruder and draining their energy.

"Let her go!" shouted a voice. Korea looked around, but saw no one else in the store. Not a second later a shadowed figure, somewhat out of breath, stood in the doorway. "I said...let her go!" he repeated.

"And just who are you?!" Korea questioned, his sleeves retracting back to their normal length...which was still longer than necessary.

America was at a loss of words for a second, but then found his heroic voice again. "I'm...I'm uh...Right! I am Sailor Moon! I'm the HERO! And on behalf of the moon, I will right wrongs, kick ass, and take names!" he declared triumphantly.

"Sailor Moon? I have never heard of you, and I doubt I ever will again!" Korea assured, extending one of his sleeves around America's waist, lifting him off the ground.

"Let go of me! Right now! Korea, snap out of it!" the not so heroic hero shouted to his friend.

"He can't hear you. His mind has been taken over by the Negaverse!" Italy cried, cowering behind a pillar in the store. Korea proceeded to slam America into a wall, freeing a pained yell from him, but quickly after, the sleeve pulled him down and slammed him head-first onto the floor.

"Uuughhh..." he groaned.

"Sailor Moon, what are you doing?!" Italy squeaked.

"I'm gettin' my ass kicked! What's it look like?!" he shouted, making strangling motions at his 'guardian' who was safe from harm behind the pillar. Korea's sleeve retracted again and threw America behind the sales counter of the store with a loud crash, several boxes full of heavy videogame systems falling on him. Weakly, America reached his hand out of the pile, his body crawling out from the wreckage. "Okay...that hurt. I don't wanna do this anymore!" he cried.

"But you hav'ta fight this evil monster, or the whole universe could be done for!" Italy wailed. Korea's other sleeve reached out and grabbed onto Italy, tightening around his small, chibi, body.

"what do we have here?! A little kid?" Korea asked, a wicked smirk on his face.

"Waaaahhh! H-Help'a me!" he yelled.

"Italy! Hang on, I'm com-guhh!" America's frantic words and plans to save the little pipsqueak were halted when the sleeve that threw him into the wall found itself wrapped around his neck, choking him.

"Looks like you're both tied up! Hahahaha!" came the horrible pun and evil laughter from South Korea.

His laughter was then cut short by something slicing through both sleeves, freeing the two do-gooders. America fell onto the ground, gasping for breath. He looked to see just want had cut them loose and saw it, embedded into the floor.

A slender branch with cherry blossom buds, as well as fully bloomed flowers on it.

Frowning, Korea looked up to a window of the store that had seemed to have magically gotten there. He wasn't sure, maybe it was there the whole time! "Who might you be?!"

Standing in the window was a figure, dressed in a fancy black tuxedo that had a cape with red silky looking fabric in the inner lining. Upon his head was a black top hat and on his face was a small white mask that only hid his eyes. Surprisingly, that was all it took to keep anyone from recognizing him!

"I am Tuxedo Mask! Sai'ror Moon, 'rook into your heart and find the warrior within you! It is your destiny!" the caped-crusader announced.

America looked up and spoke. "But I don't wanna be a warrior!" he cried, whining loudly. It was a good thing he did, because for an unknown reason, the special gems on his now meatball styled hair began to emit his whining at about fifty times the volume.

Korea covered his ears with his sleeve-covered hands and screamed in agony. "AAAAAH! STOP IT! Stop that hideous whining!" he roared.

"Sailor Moon, now! Throw your tiara at him while shouting 'Moon Tiara Magic'!" Italy instructed. Sniffling and rubbing at his nose, America stood up pathetically.

"What's the point, Italy? What good would that do?!" he asked mid-whine.

"Just do it!" the chibi yelled.

So America took his tiara from his head. As if it couldn't get any stranger, the tiara turned into a glowing discus that looked like it could actually hurt someone. Standing in a somewhat well-enough throwing stance, America took aim to make sure he wouldn't miss Korea. He was surprised he didn't even try to move from his current standing position.

"_Moon...Tiara...ACTION!_" he yelled, throwing the tiara at Korea, right on target.

"Nooooo!" he shouted before the white flash of light from the attack blinded all eyes from seeing just what happened to him.

"Huh? ...I did that?" America gasped, for once too amazed to talk.

"you said the attack wrong! You said 'action', not 'magic'! Italy scolded.

"My version sounded cooler!" was America cocky reply.

"You did it, Sai'ror Moon. Now a'rr the energy that has been sto'ren is free from the hands of the Negaverse. Others wi'rr test you, but do not be afraid." Tuxedo Mask foretold before smiling down at America. "I wi'rr fight with you!" were his last words before leaping out of the window sill. The sound of a trashcan being knocked was heard, along with the screech of a cat. "G-Gomen nassai kitty!" came the voice from the mysterious, **_and clumsy_**, masked man.

America smiled a little, a small blush on his face at those reassuring last words. A hand went over his mouth to suppress a small laugh.

"Are you alright, Sailor Moon? Speak up!" the once again happy and carefree Italy chimed.

"He was short and didn't really help out, but he was actually kinda cute!" America admitted.

Meanwhile, the energy Germany had be gathering completely vanished from him and he gasped. "'Vhat?! T-The energy! ...Some'van 'vill pay dearly for this..." he growled bitterly, knowing he'd soon have to face Germania's wrath.

"You'll never ever guess that weird dream I had last night, eh! I was pulled into a videogame where this German looking guy was taking my energy...or was it my virginity...erm, uh! It doesn't matter! But then this man dressed in drag came and got his ass kicked, but somehow saved the day!" Canada explained during lunch period the very next day.

"Like, no way. I had the same totally disturbing dream!" Poland exclaimed.

"Unfortunately, I did too." Lithuania admitted.

"That's weird, eh! We all had the same disturbingly gay dream! America, isn't that the weirdest?!" the Canadian asked, shaking America by the shoulder. It was no use, though. America was in one of his hand-held videogame trances. The fact that video games had played a role in nearly ending his life meant absolutely nothing to him.

"Shh! You're going to break my concentra-...AW MAAAAN! Canada, you made me die!" he shouted before whining loudly.

To be continued...

**_America says_**

America: This is the part where I'm supposed to give you kids out there some good advice! Hmmm...ah! Remember to stay in school! ...But, not too long. I mean, you should FINISH school, but that's not what I meant! Stay in school, kids! But, don't stay too long. Stay in school...DURING SCHOOL HOURS! Yeah, that's it! So stay in school between the hours of 8am and 3pm! Remember, do it because I, the HERO, told you to do it~!


End file.
